Resiliency

~ Hope this helps ~


Emotional resiliency is the ability to recover and to go on in the face of misfortune and adversity. It is about finding joy in life again.


How does one move forward through the pain of the past?

1. Acknowledge the pain or disappointment.
2. Forgive yourself and /or others.
3. Get moving - emotion can be released through physical activity like walking.
4. Nurture yourself. Do something for yourself that makes you feel nurtured.
5. Focus on what you have and what is important to you. What is good in your life? Who or what gives meaning to your life? What can you contribute?
6. Take the time it takes. It will take time to process and come to terms with what happened. Take the time to grieve.
7. Seek help and support from friends, family, your faith leader and/or professional counselors.


You Have a Choice

I think it is so important that you remember that you have a choice. You may not have any control over what happens to you but you can choose how you respond to it. Viktor Frankl , noted psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor, wrote in his book Man's Search for Meaning: "...everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." (1963, p. 104)


Coaching Questions

* Is there an event or issue in your life that is holding you in the past?
* What would be possible for you if you let this issue go?
* What gives you hope? (the love of a partner, your child, your faith, your dream?)


Actions

1. Write down everything about the situation that you need to let go of. Write down all of your emotions and beliefs about the situation. Release the words and the emotion in a physical way by burning the letter in your fireplace or burying it in the backyard.

2. Write down everything that you are grateful for in your life right now. Do not stop until you have a list of 100 things.

3. Focus on what you would like to see happen in your life and take one small action each day to help you move to that place.

4. Practice the seven steps of resiliency.